This is deliberately written to parody A.A.Milne’s famous poem, Teddy Bear.

Teddy Bear

A bear should not be frozen stiff,

unless his home is polar cliff.

Residing in suburbia,

can one have hypothermia?

There is an instance this can be:

a wheezy, sneezy childhood plea.

The freezer then becomes the norm,

in order to destroy the germ.


In this sub-arctic habitat

one can’t control the thermostat.

For bug on fur must live no more,

to ease the chest from being sore.

The prize for such glacial bears,

is night-time bumping up the stairs;

to cuddle tight in thermal bed,

this oh-so-chilled asthma ted.